I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
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Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
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You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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