So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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