I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
