Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Can I color on your dick again?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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