I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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