Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Barsexuality is the new black.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well I just put wine in my tea
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
