I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
we should paint friendship bongs
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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