i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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