afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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