and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
