My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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