Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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