Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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