Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
