He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So many bounce houses so little time
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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