I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
