I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
