All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My day in three words: secret purse cake
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
