I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
