i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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