Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize