How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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