I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
