New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
