That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize