Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
