Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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