Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
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