I got chris browned last night
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
