He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
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I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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