she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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