im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
