got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
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I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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