I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
