hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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