ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
