I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
