why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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