is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
