btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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