shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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