My underwear smells like fireworks.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
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I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
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A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
do nipples grow back?
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