somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
