Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
