we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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