It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
