ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
