I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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