You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
