so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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