There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
