I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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