Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
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It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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