Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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