You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
