My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
