you would pick up someone in the library
accomplished twins. life is a go
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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