he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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