i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
