I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
