Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
