You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
